Jan 18, 2018

HUMOUR | Aging & Diets

1.  My goal for 2017 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go ....

2Ate salad for dinner…Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... And cheese.. FINE, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza.

3How to  prepare Tofu:  1.  Throw it in the trash.  2.  Grill some Meat.

4.  I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5.  I don't mean to brag but … I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and
20 minutes.

6.  A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who  mention it.

7Kids today don't know how easy they have it ... when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8.  Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9.  Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed  school?  Me neither.

10. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

11.  I love being over 70 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others.

12.  A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him.

13.  My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine over rocks”.