humour

A husband is someone who,

after taking the trash out,

gives the impression that 

he just cleaned the whole house. 

A papa mole, a mama mole,

and a baby mole,

 all live together in a little mole hole.

One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole,

 sniffs the air and said, ' Yum! I smell maple syrup!'

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole,

sniffs the air and said, 'Oh, Yum! I smell honey!'

Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,

 but can't because the bigger moles are in the way.

This makes him whine, 'Geez, all I can smell is....

MOL- ASSES !

 

 

My mind works like lightning,

one brilliant flash and it's gone. 

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon
and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's
this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something. "How about a

bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you
like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a
rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm
still not hungry."

"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."