Bravely standing
in the face of a frigid winter cold front, Scribbles Psychic The Amazing
Kendini blows excessive hot air, as he reveals his predictions for 2015.
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| COMIC BY SCRIBBLES DEC. 1988. THE DOG WAS MY PAL POPPY |
The
Amazing Kendini, a parody psychic, first appeared in Scribbles in the mid 80’s.
At that time, tabloid The National ENQUIRER featured bizarre predictions from
world renown psychics, at the beginning of each new year. If it was good enough
for the ENQUIRER, it was worth Scribbles Magazine spoofing.
The Kendini moniker
was inspired by a nickname a co-worker at the Old Bank Restaurant had dubbed
me....”The Amazing Kendini”. Although our pal Darcy Baker was referring to my
waiter and bartending skills, we decided it would also make a good name for our
psychic.
When
interviewed in 1986 and asked how he came up with his predictions, Kendini told
Scribbles, “First I consult the stars. Then I check weather conditions. Research
helps too, but mostly I just make things up.”
With that in mind, The Amazing Kendini will now dust off his crystal
ball (which looks suspiciously like an old door knob) and tell us what he sees
for the months ahead...
She might
have a “Blank Space” right now, but pop megastar Taylor Swift will turn heads when she is frequently seen with teen
Canadian heartthrob Shawn Mendes. Swift
will co-write a new album for Mendes, call it 1998 –the year Shawn was born,
and market it with her #1 album 1989.
A bizarre underwater storm will cause
entire continents to shift and relocate. Remarkably, no one will be injured or
die, as the storm’s epicenter will be beneath the oceans grounds, causing
places like Hawaii and Australia to swift locations. In Canada, Newfoundland
will also be effected by the storm, floating toward the U.K. but it will be
weeks before the island’s residents realize it.
Apple will
reinvent itself again, with the launch of its new iHand product. Similar to an iPhone, users will have a chip
implanted in the palm of their hand, turning it into a smartphone. The iHand will be waterproof, feature a 20
megapixel camera, Bluetooth, wifi and all the apps and functions associated
with an iPhone. Accessories will include iHear headphones, where users stick
their fingers in their ears to listen to music and videos. Unfortunately, as it is an Apple device, the
iHand will not have expandable memory nor will it have a USB port.
Holographic
technology will soar to new heights, bringing an all-star group of deceased singers together in concert. The show
will become a huge new attraction in Vegas and will include the combined
talents of Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Patsy Cline, Janis Joplin, Freddie
Mercury, John Lennon and just added to the tour, Joe Cocker.
Gas will
continue to plunge in price, causing concerned oil producers to team up with
car companies to create larger, gas-guzzling
vehicles. TV character Homer Simpson will be asked to create the prototype
for the extra large automobiles, which will be sold for less than $5000.
Fully loaded with lots of leg space, the Homer car comes complete with a piece of duct tape to cover the flashing "check engine" light. Millions of the large cars will be sold within days of going on sale.
A major shake-up
will occur with the U.S. TV networks, after FOX and NBC merge into one company. The new network will crossover
characters and stars from existing shows which will attract millions of new
viewers. The move will infuriate the other two major networks who will join
forces and call themselves ABCBS.
Life will imitate
art, after a group of angry birds in
Renfrew, Ontario will join forces and go into battle against rude pigs. Soon birds around the world will follow
suit and pigs will go into hiding, causing an international shortage of pork
products, especially bacon. (Stock up now my friend “Queen Bee!”)
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| JJ CHECK OUT THE AMAZING KENDINI'S "CRYSTAL BALL" |
A space satellite
will travel off course and land on a small planet, never before seen in our
solar system. Images from the planet
will reveal signs of life, including a town called Whosville and a large
elephant named Horton, whom the who’s idolize.
And finally... The crystal ball is shining particularly bright at the moment, must be a big prediction coming.... OK, I see it now.... I see our Scribbles pals and they are all going to have an amazing year. Yes, there will be days when things will be difficult, but the crystal is wise and it sees you being strong at those times. I see many days of happiness and love coming this year for everyone reading this.
The
Amazing Kendini’s crystal ball is starting to fade and has now gone dark. Will
Kendini’s predictions become reality, let’s meet back here in 12 months and review :)